A Tale from the Ditty Box – Remembrance Parade by Phil Shuttleworth MBE

It was a crisp cold November morning in Stonehouse Barracks (Plymouth), and the Royal Marines were all Paraded in Blues ready for the November Remembrance Ceremonies. There were about 200 on parade, all in ranks of three, nicely spaced and to attention, medals gleaming in the Autumn sun.

The Officers were perambulating alongside the parade and waiting for the RSM to report to the Commanding Officer and call the officers forward for the inspection.

One of the junior officers was detailed off by the CO to inspect one of the Squads (about 40 men) and the Sergeant reported to him that the squad was ready for inspection…

Moving down the ranks the Young Officer (2nd Lt) kept asking the ranks questions whilst also inspecting the said audience, and picking them up for fluff on their uniforms, brasses not clean, needing haircuts and generally doing his job. In the second row there was an old three badger (12 years service or more) who had numerous medals, three badges on his right arm, uniform immaculate as he was an old sweat.

On reaching the said Marine, the officer commented upon his appearance and asked if he had shaved this morning as he appeared slovenly. The old Marine looked the Young Officer up and down, for a moment as if inspecting him, before answering him –

“Sir, twenty-one of us shaved in the same mirror this morning, someone must have shaved the wrong face!”

The laughter was imeasurable amongst the troops…